"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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