Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize