for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
