Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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