There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
