Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
