So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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