What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
