First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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