I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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