Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
