Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
