Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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