My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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