Why are handjobs necessary in class?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize