Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm both gender and math confused
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
