cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
