You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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