It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
