Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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