How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
