Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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