so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
