So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
