i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
