i don't like sucking hair
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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