i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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