I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
