Buhtt sex?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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