that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Randomize
