Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Even my vagina gasped.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
