so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
