16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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