She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
