Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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