3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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