Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
