I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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