My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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