Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
