omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
