I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
