Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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