do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
