I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I think my moral compass just broke
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
