Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
