think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
