after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
