meet me or not, i'm out of control
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
