haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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