pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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