Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
