I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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