Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
