from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
