Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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