whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
only if we run a train.
done.
im holly from the hills drunk
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
