Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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